Triggers.

I have just been on a weekend long holiday wth my family. We went to a wonderful little country town, it was pretty and the weather was nice…

But I was miserable. Why? I have struggled with an eating disorder for about two years now, and have been doing my best to recover my mental and physical health, a fact my family is supposedly very aware of. That’s what they tell me. But this weekend has made it more obvious than normal that they don’t take me seriously (which is saying something; a couple of weeks ago my mom said to my face that I seemed to be ‘trying to get an eating disorder’ despite the fact that I’ve

A. Been diagnosed and

B. Am in recovery).

Throughout the entire weekend, my dad kept making comments about food and calories. THE ENTIRE TIME. I felt bad eating a full meal in front of him after he told my brother that he couldn’t order what he wanted because there were ‘too many calories’. We went to get a simple lunch after walking through the world’s largest living hedge maze, and he said we better do another walk to work it off. I was eating a block of chocolate and he told me to stop, I’d ‘been eating too much junk’. It was so hard to stay okay, and I feel like such crap now.

People close to you can hurt you, very easily. And I need to remember that parents always mean well, but they don’t always know how to handle unusual situations.

-It’s raining again